Imposter syndrome is real, y’all.
I say that not as a throwaway line but because I mean it. Even after everything I have accomplished, there are days I sit down at my desk and wonder if I am actually doing enough, being enough, achieving enough. It sneaks in quietly. It does not care how many books you have written or how many readers have told you a story changed their life. It just sits there like an ugly little office troll.
One of the things that helps me is writing down goals. Not for anyone else. Just for me. There are lists all over my office. Some are a reminder that there is still more I want to do, more I am reaching for, more that excites me about this career I have built from the ground up.
I normally keep those lists private. Vulnerability is hard. Sharing dreams before they happen feels risky in a way I cannot fully explain.
But I looked at this list recently and thought… maybe sharing it is the point. Maybe someone else needs to see that even an author with a career full of checkmarks still has a bucket list a mile long. Still gets nervous. Still wants things. Is still thirsty for more. Still feels like an imposter who needs to gather more accomplishments to prove herself.
So here it is.
What I Have Already Checked Off
These are the wins I have to actively remind myself to be proud of:
- Book signings
- Author panels
- Awards
- Traditional publishing deals
- Dinner with readers
- Millions of copies sold
- My own direct store
- Pillow Fighter merch
- Getting letters from readers
- Giving a speech
- NYT Bestseller
- USA Today Bestseller
- Arts grants recipient
- Extra on Z Nation (refugee, not zombie. The zombie dream lives on)
- Climbed Mayan temples in Belize (that was cool)
That list is not nothing. On the hard days, I come back to it.
What Is Still On the List
This is the part that excites me and terrifies me in equal measure:
- Live reading event
- Extra Pretty Pretty Print Hardbacks
- Movie from one of my books
- Cameo in that movie (obviously)
- Be a zombie in a horror film (this one is very important to me)
- Brag to my brother that I was a zombie in a horror film and he wasn’t.
- Have a food named after me (please)
- Talk show appearance
- Sign at Comic Con
- Have a reader cosplay one of my characters
- A fan tattoo moment
- Sign books at a castle (because… obviously)
- Write a book in a haunted location for “research”
- Get a cake made of one of my book covers
- Finally be flooded with cupcakes and/or brownies (the dream lives on, pretty please)
- See a stranger on a plane reading one of my books without knowing who I am
- In-person Pillow Fighter slumber party event
- Sign books outside the US
- Travel the world. All of it
Some of these scare me. Some of them make me laugh every time I read them. All of them are real.
Why I Am Sharing This
Because goals are funny things. They shrink when you keep them locked up and they grow when you say them out loud.
And because if you are reading this and you have your own list sitting in a notebook somewhere, maybe today is the day you let it breathe a little.
What is on your author bucket list? Or your life bucket list? I genuinely want to know.
Drop it in the comments over at my Instagram post. We are doing this together.
Love, Michelle 💕
Reader FAQ - About this post and Michelle's bucket-list moments
What is on Michelle’s author bucket list?
The list spans event moments (live readings, Comic Con signings, in-person Pillow Fighter slumber-party events, signing books outside the US, signing at a castle), on-screen wishes (a movie from one of her books, a cameo in that movie, a zombie role in a horror film), reader-driven moments (a fan cosplay, a fan tattoo, spotting a stranger on a plane reading one of her books), small joys (a food named after her, a cake of a book cover, cupcakes and brownies), and a writing wish (drafting a book on location in a haunted place). Some are practical, some are ridiculous. All of them are real.
Has Michelle had any screen credits?
Yes. Michelle has on-screen experience as a refugee extra on Z Nation (the syndicated SyFy zombie series). She is also the author behind the Tribes of the Vampire TV pilot script, announced in 2025 and currently being shopped to streamers. Details are in the official press release, and the source novels are at Tribes of the Vampire.
Is Michelle a New York Times bestseller?
Yes. Michelle M. Pillow is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Her full press bio, awards, and media credits are on the press kit page.
How can readers help check off bucket-list items?
Several items on the list are reader-powered. Cosplaying a Pillow character at a con, sharing a tattoo of a favorite book reference, posting a photo of a Michelle book in the wild, organizing a Pillow Fighter meetup, or hosting a book-cover cake at a watch party all count. Join the Pillow Fighter Fan Club to coordinate or share those moments.
Where can readers comment with their own bucket-list items?
The conversation is over on Michelle’s Instagram post for this list. Drop yours in the comments there. Email and other contact options are on the contact page.
