I was doing some website maintenance, and found this gem in the FAQ Reader Page. And yes, before anyone takes me too seriously insert the “I’m joking around” “don’t kidnap cooking students” and “yes, Milla Jovovich is hot as Alice” disclaimers. LOL

Michelle’s Dating Advice

So I asked readers on social media if any FAQs were missing from my website. Thanks to those who checked for me. I’ll be adding suggestions as I can—keep the emails coming, it’s never too late. Some might have to go into the TMI pile LOL.

Though someone did ask me to write dating advice since I was a romance author (I guess that means I must have the answers), which I thought was funny because, um, my advice column would go something like this:

1. How do you snag a man?
A: I tell the driver to slow down and then I pick one coming out of the culinary institute that looks like he might be bogged down with cooking homework and can’t run fast… what do you mean that’s creepy? Girl’s got to eat. And the chains are totally voluntary.

2. How do you know when it’s love?
A: “I can’t tell you but it lasts forever…It’s just something you feel together” What do you mean that’s Van Halen lyrics?

3. A man—
A: ’s place is in the kitchen! This is fun. Do another one.

4. I was going to say, a man asks you on a date but doesn’t say where, what do you wear?
A: You have four basic options: Princess Leia (kick ass fighter with optional lightsaber or blaster pistol, but not bikini Jabba Leia—you dont want him to think you’re into bondage on date one), cat woman (so he knows you’re a super heroine), a Renn Faire princess (so he’ll know how you expect to be treated and properly addressed as m’lady), or if you can pull off super daring: Resident Evil’s Alice.

One, you’ll be awesome. Two, if he doesn’t get it well I just saved you hours that you can now put into role playing and doing something cool like reading a book. Three, if he shows up as Han Solo well, see question 2.

I think we can see why I don’t have a real dating column.

(Thanks for the readers questions! More answers to your FAQs here:

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